There are 2 kinds of people: Those who use bar soap and those who use liquid soap and a loofah. I think that a lot of showers have the loofahs of past experiments hanging in them but are not actually used. Me, I'm a bar soap guy--and a Dove guy all-the-way. Shit is moisturizing, dog. RR, that dude likes the liquid soap/loofah thing. So I asked him the other day, "Do you have one particular brand of liquid soap that you always buy or do you just get what is on sale?" He replied, "I get whatever mom comes home with." Good times.

I thought that shit was hella funny. Maybe you had to be there.

Amber and I were talking about the whole debacle that is cars with bras, and she said, "Why do [they] have a bra on [their car]? What are they trying to do, prevent themselves from getting laid?"

"Just because I don’t have my blinker on doesn’t mean I'm not going left." -Amber

Sock, sock, shoe, shoe or sock, shoe, sock, shoe? I mix it up (hella versatile *this guy*). Sometimes when people see me going sock, shoe, sock, shoe, however, they make fun of me. Dude, why? That shit is right there, socked and begging for a shoe. If I put that foot down, I will just have to pick it back up again in like 10 seconds. Merits mentioning that the best reason to go sock, sock, shoe, shoe is if you're freezing. We lose the vast majority of our body heat through our feet, hands, and head...

This might sound totally dumb and stuff, but...when you make pumpkin pie, you use the outside?

OC Reflections:

I didn’t get Summer's line about, "Maybe you could get a hooker and they could get you into Princeton." It is really bothering me. That ain't Risky Business, is it? Somebody, anybody, help me out.

Was it me, or did Love Potion #9 guy actually say to Marissa: "I need to learn to be a good dad. So I am moving to Maui." Um, do they have a "good dad" training school in Hawaii? They don’t have an extension campus in the greater Southern California area that he could attend instead?

Why couldn’t he have taken Missy, I Mean Mom with him?

Doesn’t it seem like the show is spending way too much focus on the old people? Who cares about them? Fuck them. I'd be down to ditch all the old people except Sandy. He's the man, but the rest blow.

Runner up, funniest line of the show: when Seth, drunk, walked up to Summer at the club and she smelled him and said, "Your breath smells like Marissa. You're drunk."

Funniest line of the show: when Marissa showed up at the going away party wasted with DJ in tow, Missy took one look at her and, blaming the dark-skinned yard boy, said (directed at DJ): "Let me guess. Tequila." Real classy, Missy.

Fruit by the Foot=fruit serving.

Low sodium parking. That's what you hope for when you live in San Francisco.

The worst advice I ever got: I was sort of seeing this girl in high school, but I also had a huge crush on one of her best friends (it wasn’t that serious with the girl I was seeing). I was actually dumb enough to want to ask the best friend to go to some high school event with me (that's the little head, folks). Complaining to my confidante about my plight, he actually told me that I should go for it and just ask the best friend. Shit, it was what I wanted to hear, but it was the wrong answer. So I asked the girl, and as soon as I asked, I knew I done fucked up (or maybe it was when she said she'd have to ask her bestie, the girl I was seeing, if it would be okay--she and I both knowing that it wouldn’t be).

How much would it suck if you had a droopy nose? A big nose I could deal with, but droopy...

Diamond said that my ears are just the right size for my face. I'm not sure if that is clowning or not. PS She called my facial hair "dirt." That was totally cool. PPS Diamond is 14 years old. PPPS I didn’t mean it like that, you sick pervert.

If you go to Heald College, do they give you a brochure for how to tell your friends that you go to Heald College? Do they have a student union there where you can get Heald U sweatshirts and mugs and stuff? Do they have a mascot?

You know what sucks? Washing the strainer after straining the pasta. That shit is all sticky and gooey and stuff. Takes a long time and a lot of focus to get all the gooey off.

The Revolution will not be televised...but you can buy the first 3 seasons on DVD starting next Tuesday.

So I was watching Mad Max the other day (weird fucking movie--a far cry from the sequels), and I remembered (via seeing it, how much memory is that, exactly?) that his police car is called "Interceptor" and it says so right on the back of the car. Now here is the funny part. What do the backs of Meter Maid golf carts say on them? That's right, "Interceptor." Do you think that they named the golf carts Interceptors so that the meter maids felt tougher, instead of feeling like the little punk bitches that they are? How the fuck do those cumsuckers sleep at night?

I just "faced" someone by using Sex in the City as a reference. Yeah, I know. But facing people just feels so good. I'm addicted.

It has been acknowledged that Vince Carter, one of the more hyped next-Jordan's of our time, has been caught for having told an opposing team what offensive set his own team was going to run in the closing seconds of a game with the game on the line (Scottie Pippen-the-ball-ain't-coming-to-me-so-I-have-a-migraine-style) and now he admits on a national interview that he didn’t always try his hardest as a player for his (now former) team, the Raptors (said team having paid him like 12 million a season). On top of that, he is softer than Charmin and settles for way too many 3s when he is supposed to be taking it to the hole. He just got traded to New Jersey for a couple of shitty first round picks and a couple of backup big men. Fuck that fucking fucker. Chump.

Next up, Spree. Spree wanted a contract extension. He is already 30something and has been making like 12+ million a year. He is already past his prime. Discussing how contract negotiations with the Wolves were going, he said not well. They only wanted to give him 8 million a year for his extension. He said, "I've got a family to feed." This family would include a very young daughter who was mauled and partially disfigured by his pet pitbull. After this happened, Spree refused to put the dog down or get rid of it, shrugging it off as, "It is just a dog. It isn’t its fault." Spree went on to insinuate that if the Wolves didn’t want to pay him, maybe he wouldn’t try so hard on the court. He said something to the effect of: "Why should I bust my butt for the Wolves if they aren’t going to give me the money I want?" Um, it wouldn’t be because you make more than the GNP of many countries already, and for fucking playing basketball, you bitch. Go choke a coach (again).

If you don’t know the kiss off the backboard, you better ask somebody.

I had a dream that I lived on a haunted blimp. The blimp was big pimpin (oi, big blimpin) and my room was fat (phat) and stuff, but it was scary. Haunted blimp=mixed bag.

Trader Joe's updates: Added to the list of things that I love to regularly rock at Trader Joe's are white cheddar popcorn and/or kettle corn (their cheese>their kettle), pork loin slices from the deli meat section (bombzilla), and their frozen (Trader Ming?) orange chicken, which is just a straight up big bag of party (much better than I thought it would be).

Why is something on fire but not firey? Fiery.

By: Justin