Just a head's up in case you haven't checked it out, Bert and I posted pictures of all the silk screened t-shirts we have made. Some are for sale. If anyone is interested in buying any, the proverbial pot can be sweetened by adding a few burned CDs to any orders. Check them out.

Even though it is gross, there is something so dangerous and rebellious about not brushing your teeth before you go to bed.

Well mostly there are just those times when you would rather stab yourself in the eye than drag your tired, half-asleep ass out of bed to go freeze and brush your teeth.

Did you know that if you are a server at a restaurant that you are responsible for bringing your own pen? I didn’t know that...

Have you ever thought that you had E Coli but then you just let out a real big fart and everything was ok?

So the balls are definitely the brains of the operation. They even sort of look like brains. The penis? That's the muscle.

I was talking with Chris and we were talking about downloading music and he said that he hasn’t been downloading much lately, he's been too busy relaxing. I thought that was funny. Too lazy to click search and then click download? Sweet.

You know what is cool? Brian got one of those 2000 Flushes things for his toilet bowl. So I went in there to take a leak and the bowl water was all blue. That shit had me giggling already. That is some old school shit (oi). Then I took a mean ass pisser, and by the time I was done, the water was green. Cool. Primary colors and shit...

You know, make secondary colors.

I think that Allen Iverson is a maggot. That being said, sometimes I imagine how sweet it would be if I were as quick and as fast as that guy. That would just be so totally fucking sweet. Fucking lightening.

I was watching Dallas the other night and as the family was finishing dinner, Miss Ellie said to Jock, "Why don’t you go in the other room and watch the Cowboys game. I will bring you your coffee." Jock jovially replied, "That sounds great! And why don’t you make that coffee a bourbon." Sweet.

How do you people dry your shower towels--if you live with other people, that is. I mean, I don’t wanna leave my towel to dry in the bathroom (afraid that my housemates would use my towel to wipe their asses--that's what I do with theirs. Really, there isn’t room for multiple towels to dry in the bathroom). But it smells funny if you don’t give your towel the proper space to stretch out and dry. I used to hang it from one of those grippy hangers from a ledge in my room.

Update on the Cheesepockets order: in the continual search to find the ultimate Cheesepockets order, I have been sticking with the same order for a while now, but have modified how I attack it. The standard order, for the past several months, has been a Flying Dutchman with grilled onions and a cheeseburger (animal style, no lettuce, add raw onions). I have been changing it up, however, by taking the bottom bun off of the cheeseburger and putting it on the Flying Dutchman. This way I eat 2 open-faced burgers, consuming 3 pieces of meat and 3 pieces of cheese whilst only eating one bun. Which is nice. Merits mentioning that I also ask for a side of Spread (it ain't called sauce) when I remember.

So the other day I tried selling some clothes at Buffalo Exchange, and it went about the same as every other time I have tried to sell clothes. Now tell me if this sounds familiar: you compile a decent-sized trash bag of hopefuls with a couple of long shots and 1 or 3 things that you wouldn’t call a sure thing, but feel that they would be hard-pressed to refuse. You don’t expect things to go great, but you figure a little cash would be chill. You walk into the store and there are 2 people ahead of you, including this one girl in designer jeans, a fuckload of makeup, limp wrists, and 3 gigantic fucking garbage bags of clothes. Her and the female clothes-buyer person become girlfriends over the course of the 40 minutes it takes to go through the girl's clothes. The clothes buyer says shit like, "Oh my god, that's so cute" and even occasionally calls a co-worker over to say something like, "Isn't this so cute" or "Didn’t you want something like this?" I wait, semi-patiently, trying to keep my spirits up, although a voice in my head is growing louder, saying "Dude, they aren’t gonna want any of your shit, you putz. Why don’t you save a little dignity and bounce out now." Pudwhack that I am, I ignore this voice. Hoochie chick is finally done and I'm now next in line. Some dude wearing booty-tight pants that are about 6 inches too short is up next. But mostly I hate him cuz he had the foresight to bring a book and I have been sitting there like schmuck for the last 40 minutes staring at some ugly sequined jacket. Argh. Watching the clothes buyer lady reject all his shit has got the voice in my head getting louder, and now I have been here so long that the urge to pee is beginning to overwhelm me. Maybe my bladder will explode before I have to go through the embarrassment of getting all my used clothes rejected. It ain't really much to hope for though. Finally it is my turn. The lady goes through my bag of shit in like 6 minutes, taking one sure thing, one thing that I thought was so butt that it didn’t have a chance in hell, and one other random thing. I opt for cash over credit, and have 20 dollars, a bruised ego, and a strained vas deferens for that whole hour of suck. I probably would have been better off just trying to sell blood.

The following was my attempt at doing a running commentary about an episode of The OC. It is based on an old episode, from about 2 months ago. OC viewers will probably recognize the episode (I hope). I didn’t quite manage to get drunk enough to make it really interesting, but it has its moments (it was a rather lame episode as well, as all too many have been this season). That's what happens when The OC starts at 8 instead of 9 this season. Anyway, here goes:

8:00 There is a crisis. Seth needs new tang. Religious implications of breaking bread within the context of a tossed bagel.

8:01 Sandy is way too good for that Aryan chick. And her father. The new era=new tang. I’m with Seth on the shenanigans.

8:02 Went back in FakeTIVO time to see the Victoria’s Secrets commercial. And it was worth it. Why aren’t there more VS commercials? That would be chill.

8:05 Pinback alert. Pinback alert. They play the whole song too. PS The boy/girl conundrum in a nutshell: would you date her>would she date you.

8:06 Enter science girl. Nice pink blazer. You are a shitty actor. You should definitely be hooking up with Ryan.

8:08 Holy shit. Enter Summer. Boooooooooooong. Marissa looks stupid.

8:10 I like a fritata.

8:13 Who asks someone on behalf of a friend out on a date like that big of a timid pussy (this would be re: Ryan asking a girl out for Seth)? When I talk to a girl for a friend, I'm all, "My boy wants to fuck you froggy style."

8:16 Kiersten and Missy on screen together is always the worst.

8:17 Spoke too soon. Marissa and The Yard Boy. Marissa looks like she is overaccessorizing a Denny’s waitress outfit. How many pieces of flair?

8:22 Lemme guess. They are gonna like have to switch dates.

8:30 Love Potion #9 meets Missy. Always makes me giggle. How is he nice to her? This shit makes me nuts.

8:36 The Killers really don't do that much for me. I’ve redefined rock bottom several times tonight. Oi, get it?

8:40 I am pretty sure that Summer should be with me. Dude, she looks good and stuff. "She was my shorty last year, but then she got served."

8:44 Go Magnum reference! Woo hoo. Someone tell me why Sandy is helping Caleb again?

8:46 Wife-beater undershirt citing. Open button down shirt. Zack's was too. What is this, 80s throwback night?

8:48 What the fuck is a hollow leg? Missy is a slut. I used to drink whiskey sours back in the day. Knowing is half the battle=GI Joe. Bar chick is way cooler than science girl. I like a girl who kisses partway through the date so I don't have to think weird thoughts about it all night long. Yardguys must pay really well in OC cuz Yardguy has a pretty nice truck. Ryan likes girls who have the same color hair as him. Yardguy is soooooo cheesy.

8:51 Ryan is slow on the uptake. Such ambiguity regarding the original date-asking time.

Everyone is out with their second choices as the montage hits over...U2?

Watching DVDs, ice cream, bus stop, and the lifeguard tower whore.

I knew that was the Album Leaf.

By: Justin