Is ok OK or ok? I think I generally call it ok but when I am starting a sentence with the word, I call it OK (instead of Ok).

Choplogic=cool fucking word. And it more or less means what it sounds like (chop logic).

It's crazy how many tens of thousands--maybe even hundreds of thousands--of words are out there that we don’t even know. Dude, words are like planets. Trippy.

I was with a friend (who shall remain nameless--protecting the innocent and whatnot) and she started talking about a friend of hers that I don’t care much for, and before I got the chance to even start talking shit about the friend of a friend, my friend said, "If you could not make some negative comment about her, I would really appreciate it." So I was like quiet for a while and stuff.

In the book I just finished, Balzac and the Little Seamstress, the narrator makes a wonderful analogy, comparing the examination of the plot twists (and buildup) of The Count of Monte Cristo (sickass fucking book) to uprooting a big tree and seeing how all the roots are wound together to make said tree. That's pretty hot.

It's been quite some time that I've been taking advantage of this exciting new qualifier: ish. We love the classics, like "or something", "and stuff," and the blessed "um," but I gotta say, a little ish goes a long way. It's got a bit of that "could be down" in it that we have that love/hate relationship with (hate it when you are looking for a commitment and love it when you are trying to avoid one). So anyways, ish doesn’t even have to sound phonetically appealing as a suffix to a word for it to be effective. If anything, in those contrasting words where ish appears unnatural, it actually rather nicely accentuates the ish. Ish=sarcasm, noncommittal, and/or unsure (usually unsure. Ish, that is, not me). That's pretty powerful an all-purpose word and is only 3 letters.

So Snaq O'Neal is finally gone from Lakerland. So long, chump. Dude has 20% body fat. Dude makes like 28 million a year from his team (no longer from The Lakers (you don’t just say the Lakers, you actually pronounce it like that: The Lakers)and another 50+ million (guessing, but not unconservatively) in various endorsements for being an athlete. So an athlete who makes 75 million a year and can't stay in shape at all? Gets fatter every year? And even if he does come back in shape next year, it will only be for spite. If The Lakers would have kept his fatass there is no way he would get into real shape for next season. My prediction is he will come into Miami in pretty good shape (great shape for him) and have a great year. Then, next year, feeling that he has proved that he is better than The Lakers (whatever, bitch), he will report to the Heat with hot fudge sundae dripping down his chin, back up to his old "winter weight."

For the Heat to acquire Snaq, they had to trade The Lakers 3 players to make the salaries match. That was the official announcement. I secretly think that they were trading based on weight and it took 3 Heat players just to equal Big Snaq on a (weight) scale. The additional first round pick the Heat gave The Lakers could be seen as insurance since the NBA Assessors may have estimated that Snaq would grow more over the course of the season than the 3 players The Lakers acquired.

PS I heard that Snaq drinks 40s of hollandaise sauce.

Do you ever have those nights where you are at a show or a bar or whatever and everyone looks familiar? Well, maybe not everyone, but a lot of people? Not like you necessarily really know any of them, but a whole lot of déjà vu, at least, or something?

When I was a kid I used to love to pour glue on my arm and then let it dry and peel it off. Did everybody do this? I know I wasn’t alone in this pastime. I feel sorry for kids today. What with computers and technology and stuff, do they still even have glue?

Goblet is a good word. So is goblin. Oi, hobgoblin.

The best part about the play version of Eggers' You Shall Know Our Velocity: "Take some of my weight. Please." What an outfuckingstanding concept. And speaking of...

PS Outfuckingstanding=infix. I previously didn’t know that there was such a thing as an infix, but I have it on high from a real all-the-way English teacher, Ms. Leage. See, I gots sources.

BTW I know they still have glue.

A real friend: will always side with their friend when observing an argument between said friend and someone else (significant other being the first and most appropriate someone else that comes to mind), and only later, in private, tell the friend if they actually thought they were wrong and that the someone else was right. Long story short: you always have your friend's back in public but you be honest with them and set them straight in private.

Generally speaking, mediocre hummus is still relatively mackable. Mediocre baba ghanoush, on the other hand, is nasty. But badass baba ghanoush>badass hummus. PS I had to do internet research to find the official spelling of baba ghanoush. And dictionary.com didn’t even have it.

For years I have thought that Martha Stewart would be a rad "my lady." She cooks hella well, is arts and craftsy, and likes to drink. Sign me up. I know this isn’t popular opinion, but for an older chick, I think she's pretty hot too.

You know what would suck? If you like led this basically good life and you deprived yourself of all these things you wanted to do because they would damn you to hell or something, but then, in the end, you ended up in hell anyways? That would be bitter buffalo, big time. Of course, it's a nonissue for *this guy*

Jenn pointed this out: Moo Latte sounds a lot like mulatto. And it's brown.

Do you ever think: "fuck all this pain and suffering; it's time to order me up a Russian bride..." Was that my out loud voice?

Why is it easier to unhook a bra with one hand? Loose syllogism coming: unhooking the bra is to the feeling as opening the can of soda is to the sound.

I'm not much of a coffeeshop person--I love making my own coffee--but two things I have to say about coffeeshops. I hate the wooden stirring utensil. It may be psychological, but I feel like the wooden stirrer makes my coffee taste "woody." (when pressed, I opt for the plastic spoon-style serving utensil). Ew. Merits mentioning that when I make coffee at home--and I have already discussed this in the past--I have quite the system that makes any stirring utensil obsolete. I make the coffee, start the cuppa with half and half, throw it in the microwave for 10 seconds, then add the coffee. Voila, no need to stir. But, to end the coffeeshop diatribe on a positive note, I do love the "coffee-jackets"--or wouldn’t they be more appropriately referred to as "coffee-sleeves?" I am definitely not too proud to rock those. Nice grip. Eliminates heat-to-hand issues. Is good.

Sigh. The blessed sex and a nap combo. Life doesn't get much better than that. If you wait til you wake up it's a double.

So potatoes are like a vegetable and stuff. But how often do you eat a potato where it is actually good for you? French fries, negatory. Potato chips, negatory. Hash browns, negatory. Baked potatoes--once you put all that butter, cheese, and nasty ass sour cream in it--negatory. Mashed potatoes--see baked potatoes, more or less--negatory. And, FTR, just because it isn’t good for you does not negate its vegetable servingness. Don't think I am being hypocritical here. I am able to hold these two contrasting but related ideas. Can you?td>

I went to my first bar in San Leandro a couple of weeks ago. Even though it was Friday night, there were all these old people there. 3 or 4 of them had matching-colored jeans and red sweatshirts and like white Keds/nurse shoes. There was this one guy who sounded hella crazy and at first I thought it might be because he was wasted but then, after closer examination, I realized that the fact that he had no front teeth could also be a factor (which was a downright giddy realization, at the time, for this guy). You just don’t get that kind of scene on Friday night in The Mission.

The female version of the Oedipal Complex, dubbed by Megan as the Electra Complex: where men feel the need to "insert" their "things" into the purse of their female companion. Yes, I souped up her original commentary with my own sexual innuendo.

On Mission and 24th, especially during the weekend, they have these Mexican Evangelist dudes who have the Harry Karry-style rig--a small portable amp set up--for booming their gospel in Spanish to all those who are near. It's kind of funny and pretty creepy too. But the way they get all crazy totally reminds me of that one Trans Am song that the drummer sings in Spanish. Good times...

Verbiage is the technically correct word. Verbage is an on purpose misspelling and mispronunciation used to strengthen the term (it is found in the dictionary as such). This segues nicely into the new name for my book of poems (or my band name): Verbal Garbage. Verbal Garbage rocks!td>

I don’t get the whole Burberry thing at all. All that money for plaid? Seems dumb. I mean, if you are gonna be a label whore, you might as well big pimp the LV print or something with more panache.

Rachel was telling me that she was trying to quit drinking coffee but she realized that she was getting really awful headaches when she didn’t have coffee for 3 days. So I asked her if she ended up quitting or if she is still drinking coffee. She said, "I still drink coffee. Once every 3 days."

If avocados>apples, then avocado of my eye>apple of my eye.

Y Tu Mama Tambien: The woman explains to the boys that, "The clit is your best friend." To which one of the boys responds, "What kind of best friend hides from you?" Good times.

As I finish writing this, RR is right behind me, pumping away on mom's Elliptical Machine (I'm in LA). At minute 17 on the Elliptical Machine RR said, "My feet hurt." At minute 22 on the Elliptical Machine RR said, "My heart hurts." Good times...

by Justin